Bringing home a new baby is an exciting and emotional time, especially for older siblings. Whether your firstborn is a toddler or a tween, the transition to big siblinghood can be filled with both joy and challenges. At Silver Lining Doula & Nanny Services, we know that building strong sibling bonds takes time, patience, and a bit of intentionality. Let’s explore how to support connection over competition from the very beginning.

The Foundation of Sibling Bonds

Siblings are often our first friends, our longest relationships, and sometimes our greatest challengers. While a little sibling rivalry is perfectly normal, it’s possible to lay the groundwork for healthy relationships early on. The key is creating a family environment where every child feels seen, secure, and significant.

Tips for Encouraging Sibling Bonding

1. Involve Older Siblings Early On

Talk about the baby during pregnancy and help your child imagine what life will look like once the baby arrives. Let them feel kicks, help set up the nursery, or choose a onesie. Giving them a role helps them feel important and connected to the new sibling before they even meet.

2. Give Them a Job

Big siblings love feeling like helpers. Assign small, meaningful tasks like grabbing a diaper, singing to the baby, or helping during bath time. Emphasize how their role matters and what a great big sibling they are becoming.

3. One-on-One Time

While the new baby will require lots of attention, carve out daily moments to spend alone with older siblings. Read a book together, go for a walk, or have a snack just the two of you. That connection reminds them they are still just as loved.

4. Acknowledge Their Feelings

Don’t try to “fix” big feelings. If your child says they don’t like the baby or miss when things were different, validate them. “It’s okay to feel sad or frustrated. Things have changed a lot, haven’t they?” Emotionally safe conversations open the door for long-term connection.

Big Sibling Ideas for Toddlers & Preschoolers

"Big Sibling Kit": Fill a little bag with age-appropriate toys, stickers, and snacks to give them when they come to meet baby.
Books that Normalize: Read books about becoming a big brother or sister to set expectations and spark conversation.
Special “Big Kid” Time: Emphasize privileges of being older—like choosing a movie or helping bake something.
Role Play: Give them a baby doll to feed, change, and care for alongside you.

Support for School-Age Siblings

Keep Them in the Loop: Let them know when baby is coming, how things might change at home, and what they can expect.
New Routines, Same Love: Establish rituals like “big sibling breakfast dates” or after-school catch-ups to keep your connection strong.
Let Them Be Little: Even if they’re older, they may need extra affection, reassurance, or downtime while adjusting.
Encourage Ownership: Ask them to read a story to the baby or share something they loved at that age. It empowers them while fostering connection.

What About Rivalry?

Sibling rivalry is natural and even healthy in small doses. It teaches kids negotiation, boundaries, and self-advocacy. Here are a few ways to navigate it with grace:

Avoid comparing siblings or labeling them (e.g., “the smart one” or “the wild one”).
Use inclusive language like “our baby” and “we’re a team.”
Give space for both shared and separate interests.
Celebrate their unique strengths and efforts individually.

The Silver Lining

Adding a new child to the family is a tender, sacred time, but it’s also a golden opportunity. With intentional support and guidance, this transition can lay the foundation for a sibling relationship filled with love, laughter, and loyalty.

Whether you're looking for a postpartum doula to ease the transition or a nanny who can give extra attention to your older child while you bond with baby, our team is here to help you find your silver lining.

Need support through your growing family’s next chapter? We’d love to help. Reach out to us today to learn more about our postpartum care, sibling support, and nanny placement services.

Feel relief as you welcome home a new addition knowing that your older children can be cared for whenever your baby decides it is time. Our sibling support service allows a trusted nanny to come to your home and care for your older child while you're at the hospital—so you can focus on the birth knowing everyone is supported.

Sibling Bonding vs. Rivalry: How to Foster Connection from the Start