From Well-Meaning to Meaningful: Supporting New Moms Verbally
BY ELISE SILVER AND HEATHER RUSSELL
Becoming a new mom is a remarkable journey, filled with joy, challenges, and a whirlwind of emotions. As women embark on this transformative chapter of their lives, they often find themselves on the receiving end of well-meaning, but perhaps not-so-helpful, phrases. It’s essential to recognize that many of us, at some point, have unknowingly uttered these words, not fully grasping their impact. In this reflection, let’s explore some common phrases to avoid and, more importantly, discover alternative expressions that can truly uplift and support the incredible women navigating the uncharted waters of motherhood.
Phrases to Avoid:
“The days are long, but the years are short.”
Instead, try saying: “I’m here if you’d like to talk about how you’re feeling today.”
“Hold that sweet baby while you still can; they grow up too fast!”
Instead, try saying: “What is your biggest struggle today, and how can I help you right now?”
“This is the easy part! Wait until she’s a teenager!”
Instead, try saying: “You’re right; this is really hard. How can I support you through it?”
“At least….”
Instead, try saying: “It’s okay to not be okay. Let me know if there’s anything specific on your mind.”
“Have you tried……?”
Instead, try saying: “Can you tell me more about what you’ve been experiencing? I’m here to listen.”
“You should……”
Instead, try saying: “I’m free on Tuesday. What can I bring you or do for you to make this a little easier?”
“I know how you feel.”
Instead, try saying: “I may not fully understand, but I’m here to support you in any way you need.”
“This, too, shall pass.”
Instead, try saying: “Let’s navigate this together. What can I do to lighten your load?”
As we reflect on the phrases to avoid, it’s important to approach this with empathy and understanding. Parenthood doesn’t come with a manual, and we’ve all been on both sides of these conversations. We’ve likely uttered words without realizing their impact or heard them without recognizing the weight they carry. Let this be a gentle reminder that, as a community, we can learn and grow together. By choosing our words with care, we have the power to uplift, support, and create a more compassionate environment for new moms.
In the grand tapestry of motherhood, it’s the threads of understanding, kindness, and genuine support that weave the strongest bonds. So, let’s be mindful of the phrases we share, fostering a community that embraces the beauty and challenges of this incredible journey. Together, we can create a space where every new mom feels heard, valued, and empowered.
