Building a Strong Nanny-Parent Relationship: Tips for Effective Communication and Setting Boundaries
BY ELISE SILVER AND HEATHER RUSSELL
A great nanny-parent relationship is built on mutual respect, open communication, and clear expectations. When both sides feel heard and valued, it creates a positive environment—not just for the parents and nanny, but for the child as well. Here are some key strategies to foster a strong and healthy partnership.
1. Start with Clear Expectations
Before the nanny even begins, it’s important to outline responsibilities, schedules, discipline philosophies, and household expectations. A well-structured nanny contract can help prevent misunderstandings and ensure everyone is on the same page from day one.
2. Communicate Openly and Regularly
Strong communication is the foundation of a successful nanny-parent relationship. Setting up clear, consistent ways to check in helps ensure both parties feel heard and valued. Consider:
Daily Updates – A quick chat at the beginning or end of each shift, a shared journal, or a communication app can help keep parents informed about their child’s day.
Weekly or Monthly Check-ins – Setting aside time for more in-depth conversations allows parents and nannies to discuss any changes in schedules, routines, or concerns.
Performance Reviews – Conducting a formal check-in every 6 months – a year provides a structured opportunity to review expectations, discuss strengths, and address any concerns before they become bigger issues. Check out our blog on conducting nanny performance reviews here!
Having these regular conversations builds trust, ensures alignment, and helps prevent misunderstandings before they happen.
3. Respect Each Other’s Time
Parents and nannies both have lives outside of their work arrangement, so respecting schedules is crucial. Parents should avoid late arrivals without notice, while nannies should also communicate ahead of time if they need time off.
4. Establish Professional, Yet Warm Boundaries
Boundaries help create a respectful and positive working relationship. Some important ones to set include:
Personal time vs. work time – Parents should avoid texting their nanny outside of work hours unless necessary, and nannies should also respect the family’s privacy.
Household responsibilities – Defining what tasks fall under nanny duties (child-related vs. general housework) can prevent future frustrations.
Parenting decisions – Nannies should follow the parents’ preferences regarding discipline, routines, and activities while also feeling comfortable providing input when appropriate.
5. Address Concerns Proactively
If an issue arises, it’s best to address it sooner rather than later. Use “I” statements to express concerns respectfully. For example:
Instead of: “You never get home on time, and it’s frustrating.”
Try: “I’ve noticed pick-up times have been later than expected. Could we find a solution that works for both of us?”
6. Show Appreciation
A little gratitude goes a long way! Parents can show appreciation with kind words, occasional bonuses, or small gestures like a thank-you note. Likewise, nannies can express gratitude for a great work environment and thoughtful employers.
7. Be Flexible When Possible
Life happens! A little flexibility from both sides—whether it’s adjusting hours when needed or understanding the occasional last-minute change—helps build trust and goodwill in the relationship.
Final Thoughts
A strong nanny-parent relationship doesn’t happen overnight, but with open communication, clear boundaries, and mutual respect, it can be a fulfilling and long-lasting partnership. At Silver Lining Doula & Nanny Services, we’re here to support families and nannies in finding the perfect match, ensuring both sides feel supported and valued.
Would you like assistance in finding a trusted nanny or establishing a positive working relationship? Contact us today!
